A Unitarian Universalist Joke

As we welcome our newest members and visitors, it is only fair to let them know what we Unitarian Universalists are like and what we expect.

• We are friendly. If you are not friendly, out you go!
• We are genuine people. Even our phonies are real phonies.
• We are always sincere even if we have to fake it.
• We aren't sure how ambivalant we should be.
• We believe in tolerance and cannot stand intolerant people.
• We are optimists. Anyone who doesn't look on the bright side depresses us.
• We are more non-competitive than other groups.
• We believe in equality; everyone is as good as the next person and a whole lot better.
• Every Unitarian is a feminist, so he has to watch his language.
• The organization is run democratically because the president insists on it.
• We have our critics, but they are paranoid
• We are prompt about being late to meetings.
• Dogmatism is absolutely forbidden.
• Freedom of belief is rigidly enforced.

And to this wonderful place we joyfully welcome you.