A Unitarian Universalist Joke

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Three Unitarian-Universalists arrive at the Pearly Gates, much to their own surprise and that of St. Peter, who upon checking his records realizes that these three people have led fully exemplary lives, they aren't Christian, and Heaven is only for Christians, and they shouldn't be up here in the first place.

But it's a slow day, and St. Peter is in a good mood. So he offers them a deal: "I'm going to ask each of you a question, and if you answer correctly, I'll let you into heaven. But if you get it wrong, to Hell with you." They figure this is as good a deal as they're likely to get, and so Peter asks the first one, "Explain the meaning of Easter.." The guy scratches his head, and says "Isn't that where there's a fat guy in a red suit with reindeer, and you get presents, and-- AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!" as St. Peter pushes the big red button and the poor fellow is hurled into the pits of Hell.

So Peter asks the second one the same question. She looks confused and then says, "Um, yeah, you've got this bunny hopping around hiding eggs under bushes, and-- AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!" as Peter hits the button again and she's cast down to the place of eternal damnation.

The third UU comes up and Peter asks him the same question. He's prepared for this, however- he took a Comparative Religions course through the RE department at his church, and he knows his stuff. "OK, Jesus was arrested in Gethsemane after Judas betrayed him, he was hauled before Pilate and sentenced to death, he was crucified on the Mount of Calvary and buried in a tomb with a rock rolled in front of the door--" Peter's relaxing, he's going to get to let someone in today, he's already reaching for the green button-- "and if he comes out and sees his shadow, there'll be six more weeks of winter, but-- AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!"



 

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